Trolls, Race and Online Gaming

I've been meaning to write about this for a while, but my motivation levels were not so great.  They still aren't and for that reason, this post is going to be pretty disorganized.

So I'm not much of a huge gamer in that I don't play a ton of different games.  To add to that, the list of competitive online games that I play really equals about one.  However, what I'm about to write about seems to be a pretty shared experience among anyone who spends a lot of time online and to be honest, a lot of this applies to the internet in general.

What I am talking about of course are the trolls.  Those are the players online who exist only to say hurtful, disgusting and generally horrible things.  These people at times make me regret going online and at other times, make me feel ashamed to be part of the same general human race as them.  Now, a lot of these people I can flat out ignore easily for a few different reasons.  First, I have a big mouth and can talk over most people until they shut up.  Secondly, the ever useful mute button.  The second one is the one I've been using as of late because the number of these trolls seems to be increasing at a rate that I can't possibly keep up with and I just get tired.  Despite these options, there is one form of trolling that always gets to me.  There is one form that just angers me and makes me want to turn off my system and swear off gaming.  What I am talking about of course is racial trolling.

One of the biggest strengths of the internet is its anonymity.  It's also one of it's biggest weaknesses.  Some people take the fact that they are anonymous and no one knows who they are and use it to say things that they wouldn't be caught dead saying otherwise.  For example, some people see my online tag and immediately take it upon themselves to judge who and what I am.  They use my name to start pushing their hate onto me.  Without provocation, I will enter a room and be told to go back to my country.  I will be called a wetback.  I will be called a spick.  I will be told that immigration is coming to get me.  All of this comes from no real provocation on my part.

And it is not just limited to me.  My best friend is black and sometimes when he enters rooms he is immediately hit with the "N word."

--Now let me go off on a slight tangent and say that there is no word I hate more on this planet than that disgusting piece of filth.  In my opinion, it's not okay for anyone to say this; it doesn't matter if you are white, black, latin, Asian, green, blue, Indian, etc and if you use this word, I will lose respect for you.  This is a word, that in my opinion, should die in use unless it's a look into history and how horrible people used to be or unless your name is Dave Chappelle, Chris Rock or Mark Twain.  There are few things that make my blood instantly boil, but the colloquial use of this word is definitely one of them.  I could probably dedicate an entire post to this, but I'll leave it here.--

What scares me the most about the use of these racial terms is how casually they are dropped, the age of the speakers and the frequency at which they are dropped.  What makes people use these terms so freely when they wouldn't dare utter them in public?  What does this show about their state of mind?  What does it say about their upbringing?  It's like some sort of twisted case of empowerment where people feel strong because of their anonymous state and use that power to insult other people and ironically, try to hold them down.  It's frightening because it's so real.  I hear the voice on the other end directing their hate at me.

People say that we are past racism nowadays.  Some even say that we are in a post racial world.  I think these comments are ridiculous.  Racism isn't what it used to be and isn't as outright, but that's because it has evolved.  If you want to see part of this evolution, all you have to do is turn on your Playstation or Xbox and log on to a game.

Note:  This post is pretty scattered/terrible and that's because currently, my thoughts are scattered.

This looks like a job for...

ME!

Finally decided to start this thing as another way to get my thoughts out on random garbagio.  The theme of this blog will be all over the freakin' place as well as my interests are...well...all over the place.  One day I might write about the relationship between Superman and Wonder Woman, another day I might write about my exploits in LittleBigPlanet and other days I'll write about what it means to be a Puerto Rican who grew up mostly in the United States.  Hopefully that'll keep everyone, including me, on their toes!

The title of this blog is "Me Contradigo Cuando Pienso" which translated into English means, "I contradict myself when I think."  The line comes from a song by one of my favorite groups of musicians (Calle 13 for anyone who is curious) and perfectly describes my train of thought over the years.  I think it's normal for any person to go through lots of changes when it comes to their own personal thinking and I'm no different.   I've been heavily influenced by everyone in my life and I try to listen to everyone's point of view.  I come off as hard headed a lot whenever I debate, however, you can be certain that I will always consider what someone has said.  I love learning new things and looking at ideas from different perspectives.  It sounds cliché, but hey, what can you do?

This blog will be something I can reflect upon in the future and maybe be something that teaches others as well.  Hopefully I can "sembrar una semilla en su cabeza" or "plant a seed in your head."  And I ask that others can do the same for me.